I’ve never personally experienced burnout, but I’ve seen colleagues gradually worn down by stress over time. It’s heart-breaking to watch vibrant, talented people lose their spark because they’re running on empty. As a full-time working mum, I know how easy it is to push yourself too hard—because we’re constantly juggling work, family, and everything in between. That’s why I wanted to write this: to help you spot the signs early and take action before it’s too late.
What Exactly Is Burnout?
Understand the difference between stress and true burnout. The B-DOC Model: Why Burnout Happens
Burnout isn’t just feeling tired—it’s a state of chronic stress that leaves you drained, detached, and ineffective. It creeps in gradually, often when we’re pushing ourselves too hard for too long without enough recovery.
Dr Geri Puleo, who has extensively researched burnout, calls it “a slow death of the spirit”. Her B-DOC Model explains why burnout happens:
- Beliefs: Unrealistic expectations about what you “should” achieve.
- Demands: Excessive workload and responsibilities.
- Organisational Culture: A work environment that doesn’t support balance.
- Control: Feeling powerless over your schedule or decisions.
When these collide, burnout becomes almost inevitable unless we intervene.
The Stages of Burnout: From Honeymoon to Habitual
Learn how burnout develops step by step.
Burnout doesn’t hit like a storm; it builds like a slow leak.
Burnout Doesn’t Hit Like a Storm; It Builds Like a Slow Leak
Burnout is a gradual process, not a sudden event. Dr Geri Puleo’s research identifies a Burnout Cycle that mirrors what many experience in real life. Understanding these stages helps you spot warning signs early and take action before burnout becomes chronic.
Stage 1: Enthusiasm / Honeymoon Phase
It begins with excitement—a new job, project, or responsibility. You’re energised, saying yes to everything, working late, and thriving on adrenaline. You feel unstoppable, but the seeds of burnout are already being planted. Overcommitment and neglecting recovery set the stage for stress.
Stage 2: Stagnation / Onset of Stress
The initial thrill fades. Progress slows, and frustration creeps in. You start skipping breaks, eating lunch at your desk, and feeling more tired than usual. You tell yourself it’s temporary, but stress is becoming a regular visitor.
Stage 3: Frustration / Chronic Stress
Anxiety and fatigue become your new normal. You wake up tired, snap at loved ones, and withdraw socially because you’re too exhausted. Physical symptoms—headaches, digestive issues, sleepless nights—start to appear. You feel trapped and undervalued.
Stage 4: Apathy / Burnout
Emotional exhaustion takes over. You feel detached from your work and even from the people you love. Motivation disappears, and you question your ability to cope. Everything feels heavy, and joy is gone. Work becomes meaningless, and you stop caring about outcomes.
Stage 5: Intervention or Collapse / Habitual Burnout
If nothing changes, burnout becomes ingrained. Hopelessness sets in, and professional help is often needed. At this point, recovery is harder and requires significant intervention.
Why does this matter? Because prevention starts with awareness. Recognising these stages early gives you the power to break the cycle before it spirals. Combine this knowledge with practical strategies—setting boundaries, aligning work with your values, and prioritising self-care—to protect your energy and wellbeing.
Prevention Is Key: How to Protect Yourself. Practical strategies to keep burnout at bay.
Burnout prevention isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about small, intentional habits that protect your energy and keep you feeling like you.
Start with boundaries. When work and life blur, stress thrives. Define your work hours—and honour them. Resist the urge to “just check one more email” after hours. Remember: protecting your time is protecting your health.
Next, prioritise self-care. Not as an afterthought, but as a non-negotiable. Schedule it like you would an important meeting—and treat it with the same respect. Whether it’s a workout, a walk, or simply sitting with a cup of tea, these moments of recovery are what keep you resilient.
Learn the power of saying “no” without guilt. Every time you say yes to something that drains you, you say no to your own wellbeing. Protecting your energy isn’t selfish—it’s survival.
Stay connected with people who lift you up. Isolation feeds burnout, while genuine support acts as a buffer. Make it a habit to check in with yourself: “How am I really feeling?” If the answer is “exhausted,” don’t ignore it—pause and recalibrate.
Align your work with your values. When your job feels like a betrayal of what matters most, stress skyrockets. Seek meaning in what you do—or adjust where you can—because purpose is a powerful antidote to burnout.
Finally, embrace micro-breaks. Step outside, stretch, breathe deeply. These tiny pauses may seem insignificant, but they reset your nervous system and improve focus, making the day feel less overwhelming.
Recovery: What to Do If You’re Already Burnt Out
Gentle, effective steps to heal and regain balance.
Recovering from burnout takes time and intentional effort. It’s not about quick fixes—it’s about healing and changing the conditions that caused it.
Dr Geri Puleo stresses that recovery means addressing the root causes, not just resting. Here’s how:
- Reassess Your Beliefs: Challenge unrealistic expectations like “I must always be available” or “I can’t say no.” These beliefs fuel burnout.
- Reduce Demands: Lighten your workload—delegate, prioritise, and eliminate tasks that don’t add value.
- Address Organisational Culture: If your workplace promotes overwork, speak up or seek environments that value balance.
- Regain Control: Take back control where you can—your schedule, your boundaries, and your choices.
And beyond the B-DOC model, here are practical steps to heal:
- Gradual Reintegration: If you’ve taken time off, ease back into work slowly. Don’t jump straight into full capacity.
- Create a “Joy List”: Write down activities that make you happy and commit to doing at least one daily.
- Digital Detox: Reduce screen time outside work to give your brain a break.
- Sleep Hygiene: Prioritise quality sleep—consistent bedtime, no screens before bed, and a calming routine.
- Professional Help: Consider coaching or therapy to rebuild resilience and coping strategies.
- Purpose Reset: Reconnect with your “why.” Sometimes burnout signals a misalignment between your values and your work.
And of course, the basics still matter:
Take time off, move your body, eat nourishing food, practise mindfulness, and reconnect with joy. These small acts remind you that life is more than work.
A Final Thought: Why Your Wellbeing Matters
A reminder that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential.
Burnout isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a signal that something needs to change. I’ve seen colleagues lose themselves to stress, and it’s a painful reminder that we need to prioritise our wellbeing. As working mums, we often put ourselves last, but remember: you can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential.
Elegant Wellbeing 